love actually
"People say that time is a great healer. Which people? What are they talking about? I think some feelings you experience in your life are written in indelible ink and the best you can hope for is that they fade a little over the years."
Looking back at the 8 years that have gone by I'm torn between feeling angry, hurt and a deep sense of loss. Perhaps that is why as I sat alone today reflecting on you and me, I chose to feel acceptance. It must have been the bench at the park ..where we last sat together..your hands in mine and my head on your shoulders...the dim lights, the gentle breeze, the rustling of leaves and the warmth of your skin..all it took was a moment..a moment of letting myself wander down a forbidden track and there u were..if only i'd known that was to be the last time we would be part of each other's lives..
time has passed since then...it doesn't hurt as much as it did yday and it won't hurt as much tmr...but the memories will always be there...as much as i wish you'd done things differently, as much as i feel betrayed, as much as i question the absurdity of it all, i realised today why you decided to call it quits.. it was that last conversation we had, wasn't it? all of a sudden it became crystal clear to me how the end had begun..
relationships end leaving behind memories that can't be erased..i hate this time of the year.. cos it makes me think about you..like an unwilling prisoner dragged to meet his certain death..the more i try to refrain from thinking of the past the more i end up doing so..it just occured to me that 02/02/02 was my first vday celebration..we weren't together, we weren't dating and it was 12 days in advance but everything that had to be said was said in every glance, every smile, every action...the cheap carnations, the watery ice cream, the sticky cotton candy, the cheap lunch at BK, a whole day of walking around at the funfair, getting lost, glowing iin your praises, flattery and flirting, being teased by friends and my first vday present, an ugly teddy bear that i adored to bits...a day like that rarely if never comes in a person's life..a day that is to be remembered for its million imperfections..imperfections that like missing pieces in a jigsaw puzzle fit together to create a work of perfection...
"When you've felt that much about a man and he disappears from your life, after a while you start to think it was just some foolish illusion on your part and that the other person walked clean away, no scar tissue. But maybe the other person felt the same."
Looking back at the 8 years that have gone by I'm torn between feeling angry, hurt and a deep sense of loss. Perhaps that is why as I sat alone today reflecting on you and me, I chose to feel acceptance. It must have been the bench at the park ..where we last sat together..your hands in mine and my head on your shoulders...the dim lights, the gentle breeze, the rustling of leaves and the warmth of your skin..all it took was a moment..a moment of letting myself wander down a forbidden track and there u were..if only i'd known that was to be the last time we would be part of each other's lives..
time has passed since then...it doesn't hurt as much as it did yday and it won't hurt as much tmr...but the memories will always be there...as much as i wish you'd done things differently, as much as i feel betrayed, as much as i question the absurdity of it all, i realised today why you decided to call it quits.. it was that last conversation we had, wasn't it? all of a sudden it became crystal clear to me how the end had begun..
relationships end leaving behind memories that can't be erased..i hate this time of the year.. cos it makes me think about you..like an unwilling prisoner dragged to meet his certain death..the more i try to refrain from thinking of the past the more i end up doing so..it just occured to me that 02/02/02 was my first vday celebration..we weren't together, we weren't dating and it was 12 days in advance but everything that had to be said was said in every glance, every smile, every action...the cheap carnations, the watery ice cream, the sticky cotton candy, the cheap lunch at BK, a whole day of walking around at the funfair, getting lost, glowing iin your praises, flattery and flirting, being teased by friends and my first vday present, an ugly teddy bear that i adored to bits...a day like that rarely if never comes in a person's life..a day that is to be remembered for its million imperfections..imperfections that like missing pieces in a jigsaw puzzle fit together to create a work of perfection...
"When you've felt that much about a man and he disappears from your life, after a while you start to think it was just some foolish illusion on your part and that the other person walked clean away, no scar tissue. But maybe the other person felt the same."
posted by silent wonderer at 10:27 AM
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