Enlightenment

hi everyone... i'm real sorry abt not bein able to post an entry for a mnth... i happen to be involved in sangae muzhangu...and my schedule is hectic to say the least...dance rehearsals..drama rehearsals...combined rehearsals...publicity stints...as u can imagine i'm too tired at e end of e day to sit and blog...

anyways i know i'm super crappy most of the time... unfortunately for those of my frens who love tht side of me...i'm sorry tht this blog is gonna seem like it's written by someone entirely different frm the birentha u guys know...past week i've pondered over many issues... and i felt this huge compulsion to type down the things tht have been bothering me for quite some time...namely this whole topic on maturity...i'm all serious at the moment so i hope u guys bear wif me...

first things first...i've been told time and time again by some to grow up...to become more matured...to let go of tht child/gal image i portray to the world...to finally come to accept tht i'm no longer a child nor a young gal..it's abt time i started acting like a woman...

maturity in my opinion is a state of mind...it's a certain way of thinking and behaving tht sets apart a child/adolescent frm an adult... i know to the majority i may not seem to possess this virtue called maturity...thot i shall clear the misunderstandings once and for all..i believe there are certain circumstances in which one cannot express tht child within oneself... when i happen to be in sch attending my lectures and tutorial...when i'm in a situation where i've to give a presentation thts abt to be graded...when i've to be there for my family and friends has a pillar of support and am being counted on to give sound advice and assistance then u'll see birentha as a mature young woman...

put simply i present diff sides of myself pertainng to the situations at hand...if one has yet to see this other side of me then it's only because me and whoever it may concern has yet to be in a circumstance where i find it necessary to show u this more serious side of myself...there's no such thing as an all and all serious and matured person or someone who's 100% childlike...within each and everyone of us there exists a child, an adolescent and an adult...it's a matter of choice which of these we wanna present to others...

my personal viewpt is tht wif time it's gonna be harder to express tht child and tht young person wifin u to others... an average lifespan of a woman is 80 yrs...of which more than 50 yrs she's gt to be a matured responsible adult... i can't see myself presenting the child within me to my fellow colleagues at my workplace...there will come a pt when i decide to settle down..and i can't see myself acting like a carefree young gal when new responsibilities of being a wife and a mother is bestowed upon me... and same goes for a pt in my life when my parents r older and i'm looked upon by them to be a pillar of strength...be it offering financial assistance,a listening ear to their woes or just a source of moral support and encouragement...i can't see myself being a young gal at those pts in time...

so wif e passage of time, u r called upon to become increasingly resposible...and the opportunites to show to the world tht inner child diminishes gradually...i'm turning 20 this year...technically if all goes well i'll be entering the work force in a couple of years... so i choose to enjoy these last few years as a free spirited child/gal...i dun wish to look bk and regret in abt 10 yrs time on how i never realli had an opportunity to be a child or a young gal...not to forget being born in s'pore where life bustles abt frantically one doesn't realli get an opprtunity to be a child...for all these reasons and more i choose to show the lighter more childlike side of myself to others...

another crucial reason y i am the way i am... at e end of a long day when i meet up wif frens and family...i am well aware tht many r facing some sort of pressure/stress or probs of varying nature...there r those who'd want advice..and there r those who want good company to make them forget their probs temporarily...i try my best to make my loved ones laugh and keep them in good spirits...even if it's at the cost of them laughing at my zany antics and weird ways... i understand tht r those who appreciate this side of me... and those who don't...i understand to each his own... and if u'd rather just see the matured serious side of me then pls let me know...cos i dun wanna torture u poor souls wif my antics and wackiness if u guys r unable to appreciate it...

there's greater depth to me than meets the eye and i just hope then those who do not realise it yet come to see the light soon enuff...it gets really frustrating when one does not spend time and effort to allow me to show them the more serious side of myself...yet r quick to judge tht i'm of a so and so nature...it's when u have a fixed image of a person as so and so tht one tends to interact wif the person in a paricular way... and in the end tht only confirms wat u've come to believe abt the person...hard to understand? lemme explain...if u see me as a kiddy character and cos of the choose not to engage in serious discussions or ask for advice cos u feel i'm unsuited for the role of an advice giver...then u'd only continue to see the childlike me...cos u r not putting me in a situ where i need to express my maturity of thoughts or actions...so all in all u end up confirming the impression of me tht u've preconceived just by observing me shallowly...and tht in psychology is coined as confirmation biasness...

never ever misjudge a person or underestimate a person just by the way he/she is on the outside...get to know someone in greater depth and u'd be surprised by how there's much more than meets the eye in the case of many...u'd certainly not wanna lose a wonderful frenship/rlnship wif someone just cos u percieved them to be smt they're entirely not...tht wld be a great pity... and also be aware tht maturity is a process...no such thing as u reach age 20, 25 etc, u become a matured person thts the end of it...pple will naturally gain greater maturity wif the yrs tht come by...some will mature faster due to e events in their lives tht proved to be an eye opener...others wld take longer...it's not the end of the journey tht counts but the journey itself...it's impt we exercise patience and be mindful of tht...also at many pts in one's life the inner child of u will surface...and my personal opinion it's impt to retain a certain sense of innocence and purity...i know it's an idealistic view of lif...but i believe many started of as idealists and turned into realists cos of bad experiences... if everyone adopts this viewpt of life...then the world will seem a bleaker place filled wif no hope...it's impt to be realistic adults...but being able to see the world frm a idealistic perspective of a child...a place filled wif good and a place where u get wat u deserve...a place of beauty and beautiful pple may not do more than give u a peace of mind and silent strength which gives u the courage to rise resiliently frm all the setbacks and failings in ur life...but the by itself means alot in my viewpt...ultimately it's ur persepectives thts gonna help shape the course of ur life...

food for thot at this pt...which is betta? a gal who portrays herself as a woman cos thts wat pple expect of her by and large...or a woman who chooses to portray herself as a gal for reasons such as mine? at e end of the day wld u rather be disappointed had having thot a gal as a woman or be pleasantly surprised tht this person u thot of as a gal is in reality a sensible matured woman? tht i'd leave for u guys to think abt...

moving on another famous misconception abt myself...i agree i've an annying tendency to whine abt things tht takes place in my life and complain abt how unfair pple r at times an all... immediate judgement is tht i'm unable to accept and face adult pressures in my life...i'm a weak person..etc etc... now in truth y i whine and bitch at times is simple... i'm human...i'm emotional...i'm able to reason out things but instinctually i react emotionally first...i dun believe in holding back emotions and letting it all pent up wifin u...restraint of emotions and restraint in voicing out certain thots is valuable... ths y i NEVER complain abt serious issues...if i ever whine away it's over trivial things...no pt restraining ur emotions over such petty issues...and i choose sensible pple to whine to so tht they dun get carried away along wif me...in short i just need some pple to express my anger,disappointment etc... tht does not mean i lack the capability to deal wif issues in my life...i've been thru a hell load of stuff which i dun wish to tell the majority...and i've learnt valuable lessons...and this is a side of me as i said only comes across in specified situs...if u dun know where i've been dun be too quick to judge...i whine and moan but at the end of the day i'm strong in facing all the challenges in my life...food for thot again...wld u rather be someone who express your feelings clearly,moves on in life,faces her challenges wif fortitude and strength...or wld u rather restraint all ur emotions,rationalize everything,but at the end of the day give up easily at setbacks? again i leave this for u to think abt...

there r many shades of character to a person...be patient...make effort to get to know these diff sides... either u'll be rudely shocked or astonished at how most of the time appearances r deceiving...we see what we choose to see...we believe blindly just by wat lies on the surface...more often than not we take things and pple for granted..alas it's a pity cos great things tht shld come to be fails to materialize simply cos we have mental blocks tht stop us frm seeing someone more than he/she appears to be...